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Friday, November 14, 2014

Working Mom Woes

 Dressing up and looking good all day is killing me. Seriously. After being a stay-at-home mom for seven years, I have rejoined the workforce...and the challenge of making sure I have lipstick on, is more than I can handle.

I long for my t-shirts and cargo pants...Flip flops and ponytails...Ahhh....comfort...why have you abandoned me? I am missing my work-out "uniform" of leggings, and a sweatshirt that would take me through dropping the kids off in the morning, to picking them up in the afternoon. That outfit got me to baseball games, tumbling and so much more. Never mind that I wore that outfit, whether I made it to the gym or not...

I find it hilarious (and somewhat sad) that the heels I bought for a fancy Christmas party have now become my daily "go to" shoe. Really, all of my fanciest clothes have become daily work outfits...and it's been a year since I have even put on my capri cargo pants.

Juggling work and home has been difficult, if not near impossible. I am clearly a glutton for
punishment... And sadly...I have become THAT mom! One morning the middle son said, "I have a field trip tomorrow!" "You do?" I responded, "Where are you going?" (EEK! How is it that I don't know where he is going?) I have gone from knowing EVERYTHING about my children's lives...to knowing next to nothing! Yes...I have gone from the mom who has driven on every field trip for the last 7 years...the mom who helped out at the school so much that people thought I worked there! The mom who has all the kids' friends over for play-dates every single weekend...the house that all the neighborhood kids congregate... And now...I have become the absent mom. The mom who barely knows what is going on! I am the mom I used to look down on...Ironic...

My working has put the load on dear old Dad...getting the kids to school, picking them up...one goes to cross country, the other to soccer...music lessons and more. He has been a trooper! My work schedule is crazy and more often than not, I am still at the office well past dinnertime. And while I feel bad that he is having to cart the kids around, I secretly think, "Welcome to MY world, Dude!" I did that for 7 years! I spent more time in the car, than I did at home. Juggling 2 kids in baseball...practices at the same time...in parks across town from each other, while getting the little on to tumbling. It's no wonder, I stayed in my workout clothes all day! By the time I dropped the kids off in the morning, went to the gym, hit the grocery store and put the food away, it was time to go pick up the kids and "start" my day... so I DO feel bad for him...I just don't feel THAT bad... (cue evil laugh here...)

But my gloating isn't very long lasting...because I have quickly realized that he is much more efficient than I am. He has somehow managed to train the kids...they get up early, are dressed before they come downstairs...They are fed, brushed and packed up for school, well ahead of time. He is like Colonel Von Trapp in the "Sound of Music,"
blowing his little whistle as the kids run down the stairs and fall in line! (oh...and sadly, I am more like disorganized Maria...)

 In the seven years that I took the kids to school, we were running out the door, one kid with no shoes on, the other combing her hair in the car and the other eating breakfast as we drove at breakneck speeds, hoping to beat the train at the crossing...and screeching into the drop off line at school with me yelling, "GO, GO, GO!!" (I could wallpaper a room with all the Tardy Slips...)  With Dad at the helm, the kids have been late to school exactly NEVER! But he has it easier than I did...New town, new school...fantastic lunch program means no making lunches...no train crossing and no parking lot to deal with ... just pull up to the curb, kids jump out and off you go. If I only had it so easy...

I really have "Mom Guilt"...Guilty when I am at work and I am missing out on something for the kids...and guilty when I take time off work to go do something with the kids. I just can't win! I worry about the kids...how are they adjusting? Are they desperate for my constant love and affection? I ask the girl, "How are you doing now that Mom is working?" She looks at me thoughtfully, "It's OK," she answers, "I mean, I miss you and wish you were around more...but Dad is doing a good job..." she pauses and looks up at me thoughtfully, "Besides, you dress a lot better now!" she finishes with a grin.

She's right...
 

3 comments:

  1. That's true. Juggling work and family life can be pretty hard, but I do hope the guilt you've had about being a working mom has subsided. Just remember that you're better off trusting your gut when you feel like something's off. At any rate, I commend you for sticking to your decision of being a working mom, no matter how hard the struggle is. Thanks for opening up, Terri! I wish you all the best!

    Waylon Grimm @ All Force Labour Solutions

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