Mom or Maid?

Please tell me that I am not the only mother who feels like her children think she is their servant...put on this earth to do their bidding. I know it's true...my mom waited on me, much of the time, and I started to feel like it was my right. Like she was put on earth to wait hand and foot on me. She must have figured it out though, because I had lots of chores and duties. I hated Saturdays...while all my friends were watching Saturday morning cartoons or playing outside, I had to clean my room. It took me all day! Being the easily sidetracked person I am...I was worse as a kid...and I couldn't just surface clean...I would find myself cleaning out drawers, when all I really had to do was straighten up, dust, make the bed and vacuum. Really explains my housekeeping skills (or lack of them) today.

As I am watching my oldest son try to clean his room today, I am sad to say, that he has inherited my sidetracked tendencies.  The fact that he doesn't want to clean his room doesn't help matters. His room needs a complete organizational overhaul, and he is not equipped to do it. Plus he is surly because he wants to play video games with his little brother. So, I find myself having to help...and I don't want to...I have other things to clean. With my Mother-in-law arriving this afternoon, there are lots of things around this house that need my attention. I do have the sneaky thought of not cleaning anything, in hopes that she will clean when she gets here, but my pride will not allow me to do that. Although I am not above showing her a cupboard or two in the kitchen that could use some organizing...

I think I am like a lot of moms...when the kids are little, it is just easier to do things for them, instead of having them struggle through it. I can clean a kid's room in record time when they are at school. It only takes me a few minutes to clean their bathroom, and I'm fast at separating out their laundry. If they try...I have to help them and it takes forever! But here I am with three kids, 6, 8 and 10...who are getting older and quite capable of handling some of this responsibility. Add into that, we are one week away from summer break...all three kids at home...all day...every day...(yikes!)...they better start helping or nothing will get done!

I used to play a "game" with the two youngest...they were about 3 and 4 at the time. I would hand them each a wet cloth and have them "hunt for spots" on the tile. Great game...and they did a pretty good job...I wonder if that will work now? Probably not...they are too smart...I can get them to set the table, feed the dog and take their folded clothes to their room. But I cannot seem to get them to put their clothes away in their room, instead of leaving a big pile that ends up falling over and getting "unfolded".

I know I have to do something...especially with the girl. She thinks she rules the roost. I laid in bed one morning, debating whether or not I wanted to get up...I turned to my husband..."I don't want to get up," I say..."Our daughter is a tyrant...and I am her bitch!" This cracks the husband up...he thinks I'm so funny...but I'm not kidding! She is so sweet and quiet at school...and so loud and demanding at home!  Not all the time...she is very caring, loving, kindhearted and wants to "help" me around the house...but sometimes...ohh...sometimes I just want to hide in the closet under the stairs with a good book and a bottle of wine! I think all moms should have a place to hide from their kids...a place they don't know about.

My goal this summer is to clear out the closet under the stairs...I can picture it now. I will take everything out, set up a light with a dimmer, put down a fun throw rug, add a chaise lounge, small refrigerator, TV, table to hold my books, a cozy blanket...maybe another chaise for a friend who needs to escape from her kids...then I will hang a thick curtain that blocks the light towards the front of the closet..stack some boxes in front of it, hang some jackets on the rod...and ta da...the MOM CAVE is complete! I can picture it now...kids running amuck through the house, husband yelling at them to be quiet...someone hits someone and there is crying and tattling...but I don't care...I'm not involved...I'm reading book three of The Hunger Games, sipping a smooth zinfandel out of my festive girly wine glass that my friend Anne gave me.

But before I can clear out the closet, we have to clean out the garage, so there is room...and to clean out the garage, I need the husband's help...there are spiders in there, after all...and I am not a spider person! (That is the understatement of the year...I am terrified of spiders!) But if I get desperate...and with the husband at work all day and the kids home with me all day...odds are I will get very desperate...I will just shove all the crud under the stairs, out into the hallway...grab a folding chair, flashlight, and book...and take an hour for myself...it's either than or do what my mom did...cup of coffee, newspaper, purse and phone and head for the bathroom! I didn't realize until I had kids of my own...my mom is a genius!!
**********************************
Oh sure, no sooner than I posted this...I was on my hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor and here comes my little helper! As I sneak in to write this, she is spraying all the "spots" on the tile and scrubbing with a brush! Maybe I will be getting some help this summer after all!

Not a Hoarder...A Packrat!

I think I have hoarding tendencies... I have over 29,000 emails in my inbox...logically, I know I can't possibly read them all... I have a huge basket of unmatched socks...I realize that their mates have gone on to the mystical place on the "other side"...of the dryer. I watched an episode of "Hoarders" the other night, which totally freaked me out. The woman had a nice clean house...but three bedrooms were full of junk. Not gross stuff like cat poop and dead animals...just normal stuff that one might "store".  Every time I watch "Hoarders" I run around on the commercials, throwing stuff out.  I could see myself filling up a guest room with stuff I am storing...if I HAD a guest room...guess I am glad I don't...And I don't think I would take it so far as to fill up a basement, my kid's basement, two storage units and a 9,000 square foot store front...but left unchecked...I might fill the garage... Oh wait..there is no room in there...half of the garage is still full of boxes from our old house...it's been a year and we are STILL moving in.

My sisters give me clothes for my boys...I am storing clothes they will wear in TEN years...Hmm...maybe I shouldn't be keeping bins and bins of them in the playroom closet...having all this stuff to take care of, stresses me out! I used to keep every scrap of paper the kids bring home from school...and then my mom gave me a box of my own schoolwork...and I realized just a few things from each phase of school is enough. I get to share  them with my kids and we can compare handwriting. That's all we need...but I'm still having a hard time parting with stuff...

This isn't new...this has been going on for years...I am the youngest of four girls...my older sister would never let us in her room. Every so often, she would want to get rid of stuff and she would invite us into her room, for an "auction". She would hold up an item and we would bid on it. We were thrilled that we got to go in her room and left with all kinds of treasures, and no money. Come to think of it...I think the same sister is the one who told me.."you need to collect something"...she made me collect salt and pepper shakers. Which I still have...and in Highschool, I had a pig for FFA...so I collected pigs...statues, stuffed animals...you name it.  In the 90's this same sister got my mom and other sisters collecting Beanie Babies. We were so competitive and out of control! Actually...it could have been any sister that started that craze...but I took it to new lengths, trying to get each beanie before they did...I STILL have two large bins of them and just donated 60 of them to the kids' school!

Two of my kids are "collectors"..."I need this for my rock collection," says the youngest. "She collects rocks?" I think. Yep...has a stash of rocks in her room. The middle kid saves every scrap of paper...but not cool stuff from school...candy wrappers! WHAT? The oldest keeps every cherished thing he can get his hands on. If he remembers making it, he wants it. His room is full of projects...Mission project from 4th grade, Pinata project from 1st grade...dioramas, collages...notebooks, binders...you name it. His school Bible is missing its cover and pages are falling out but he won't let me replace it because, "I have had this since kindergarten!"

My bedroom looks like the closet threw up in it. All it really is... is a shrine to the clothes that I will never be able to fit in again. I save everything thinking, "That's really cute. I will wear that when I lose 10 (or 20) lbs." I have clothes that span four dress sizes and ten years. My closet cannot handle the sheer volume of clothes I am trying to hold onto. Let's be honest...I wear the same things every day...there is my "mom uniform":  long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans, flats and a jacket. I have my "workout outfit" (which can also be used as my mom uniform) sweat pants, sports bra, T-shirt and running shoes...and I have my church outfit...which...now that I think about it, is pretty much the exact same thing as my "mom uniform" (except with better shoes)...I bet if I took everything out of my closet, I would just fill up one rack...OR I could lose a bunch of weight and have a whole wardrobe at my disposal...See? That is the way I think. To be fair...I do have my summer mom uniform...capri pants and short sleeved shirts with flip flops. And I have the jackets I wear, the plethora of shoes...(because I hoard shoes) and some dressy outfits as well for the occasional night out, Easter, Christmas, etc.

But really...life would be much simpler, if I just de-junked. That's it...no more. I am going to let things go. No more storing things for years from now. No more holding on to my college books, and stuff the kids no longer care about. I am going to take my life back! Oh wait...what's this...a text from my sister?  Auction? I'M ON MY WAY!!

Work All Day...Get Nothing Done...

Why is it, that I work all day at something, yet nothing seems to get done? I used to think I had the ability to "multi-task"...but that was pre-children...when all my brain cells were still intact. Since the kids have sucked the life out of me, I have the attention span of a fly...

Here is how a typical day of "cleaning" goes. I get the laundry going, walk out of the laundry room, see a toy that the youngest has left out...I take it up to her room to put it away and see that the bed is unmade. I start to make the bed, but I can't because she has too many stuffed animals on her bed. I put the stuffed animals in the animal bucket and look around the room, getting all the animals off the floor...books from the playroom are on her bed, so I take them to the playroom...I go to put the books on the shelf, but the bookshelves are a mess, with books on their side or in stacks. I sit down on the floor and start sorting the books, size, genre, age group...oh but there are three book cases, so now I must ponder how I will reorganize them...I see a comforter sitting on the back of the couch and think, "I should put that away"...which then reminds me...Oh yeah...the laundry! I run downstairs to the laundry, put the clothes in the dryer and run upstairs to get more clothes for the wash. I go into the bathroom to collect towels and see toothpaste in the sink...I need to clean that! Spray the sink with cleaner and reach under the sink for paper towels. Curses...none in here...go downstairs for paper towels and notice the dishwasher needs emptying...I start emptying the dishwasher..then the dog needs to go out.

 I let the dog out, turn around and see that I should sort the kids school papers. I start sifting through them, dog wants back in...let him in, see that I was emptying the dishwasher and return to that chore...oh wait...the laundry! Run into the laundry room, see the empty washer...oh yeah...the towels! Come out of the laundry room, see the kids' blankets on the couch. I should really fold those. Go to the couch and start folding the blankets. Oh look, the TV...I should watch the show I recorded last night...Sit down and watch show while folding blankets, a task that takes 3 minutes. Watch hour show...turn off TV. Go into kitchen, see the open dishwasher...oh yeah, I was doing the dishes...start back on the dishwasher...look at the clock...Omigosh! Time to pick the kids up from school!! Worked all day...didn't finish a single task! "SQUIRREL!"

It's sad but true...and the eldest child is the same way...He starts one task...gets sidetracked...forgets what he is doing...I have to remind him every day to bring his spelling book home...and every day he forgets it... I have resorted to putting notes in his lunchbox..."SPELLING BOOK!" It's a toss-up whether it will work or not.  He leaves his band music home at least once a week, which means I have to rush home after drop off...tear the house apart, looking for his music and then tear across town, to get back to the school before band starts.

The middle son loses his jacket every week. He comes home without his jacket on Monday. On Tuesday, I send him to school with another jacket. By Wednesday, he has lost both jackets. Thursday, the first jacket turns up. I spend Friday morning at the school, digging through the lost and found bucket. I never find it in the bucket... But the jacket is usually back in our home within the week. He just doesn't pay attention. One day, he brought home a really nice red ski jacket. It was so warm and new! It just wasn't OUR really nice red ski jacket! I was mortified! Our son STOLE someone's jacket! He took it back the next day and traded it for his...so I am pretty sure his jacket goes home with some kid, only to be found by a mortified mother and sent back the next day.

The little one never remembers her library book. She leaves it in her desk and is so upset when she forgets to bring it home. She has it home for one day and then it is lost. The last library book was lost for two weeks. On library day, I came home from dropping her off and tore her room apart. Where could it be? Neither one of us could remember the name of the book...I just knew it had a green cover...or was it blue? How can she lose a book? One look at her room answers that! It's a disaster. I look under the bed, through her bookshelf, in the closet, under the covers, on top of the covers, under her pillow, in her stuffed animal bucket...nothing. I search her brothers' rooms, the playroom, I even look in the bathroom. Nothing. Then I go and pick her up from school and she shows me the new book she checked out of the library. "How did you get a book? You lost yours!" I ask. "Oh, someone must have turned it in for me...it was at school the whole time!" ARGH!! No wonder I don't get anything done!